Cheesy lists

Let's post here the ultimate cheesy lists, just for fun. Nothing apocalypse, because Apocalypse is not designed to be competative.
So, what do you say?

The Doom-Nid Army of Horror.

I don't know the specifics, but basically it boils down to fitting six fex's, two tyrants and seventy gaunts inside of 1500 points. Verrry light on upgrades but it is possible.

I have fought something similar to this - 4 carnifexes, flyrant, 2 zoanthropes and tons of horma and termagaunts. I was not very hard to defeat them, but it was scary as hell. My prayer for the game was "Do not scatter by the emperor".

My personal favourite is the Cheese wing, also known as Captain Lysander's assault cannon army of doom. It is quite nasty.

Would 3 Fire Prisms or Eldrad/Yriel in a 1000 point battle? What does the chees wing contain?

Eldrad is actually anti-cheese, in a way. Two Farseers can cast four powers a turn, and are not that much more expensive. Maybe 20 points, tops. They also have a longer range, yadayada.

The cheese-wing is lysnader leading as many asscans, which happen to be toted by termies, all DSing in one turn.

HQ:
Lysander
T.Cmdx4
2asscanns

Master
T.Cmdx4
2asscanns

Elite:
Sarge
Termie x4
2asscanns

Sarge
Termie x4
2asscanns

Sarge
Termie x4
2asscanns

Troops:
Sarge with homer
4xscouts


Sarge with homer
4xscouts

Do-able at 1k, IIRC.

Okay then how about a list full of starcannons or scatter lasers?

Yep, that's it. Evil.

Starcannons suck bad... if you are 100% sure you are gonna face the cheeswing - yes they are worth it. Otherwise they are not...

On the contrary. Starcannons themselves are still badass, it's just the fact that they're always mounted on a model with BS3 that makes them dubious. Honestly with three shots they were just the Win weapon, no contest. They could handle anything except heavy armour.

Hordes? I have three shots.
MEQ? AP2.
Light armour? S6 and enough shots to be reasonably sure of doing some damage.

Barring an enemy it literally COULD NOT HURT, there was no contest for weapons. Starcannons, Starcannons, starcannons!

Now, you actually have to think before you take one. It's still perfectly suited to taking down MEQ's, and can reliably kill almost any infantry model in an MEQ army. But, it no longer has the number of shots necessary to tackle horde armies, or be assured of taking down light vehicles.

Put it this way. A Starcannon will statistically hit with one shot, and almost certainly kill an MEQ with that shot. A Scatter Laser will get two hits, both of which will probably wound, at which point a marine MIGHT die, but it's not assured. Against Terminators, the shots will just spatter uselessly off them.

If you can figure for all shots hitting (unlikely, but possible. More likely with the Starcannon actually, since it has less shots), then the Starcannon will almost certainly kill two marines. A Scatter Laser will almost certainly kill one, with my fuzzy, in-general math.

So yes, the Starcannon is worse now. It is not terrible, and is still worth it- you simply have to actually THINK about what weapon to take, as opposed to loading up on as many Starcannons as Eldarly possible!

3rd edition starcannons were a joke, i agree. But here goes my maths between starcannons and scatter lasers...

Let make a comparison between 75 pts worth of weaponry. That would be 3 Starcannons and 5 Lasers. Let us assume they will manage to shoot all 6 turns.

36 shots against 120 shots
18 hits against 60 hits
15 wounds against 50 wounds

So against 2+ save (terminators have 5+ invulnerable) we have 10 kills compared to 8,3 kills on scatter
Against 3+ save we have 15 kills compared to 16,6 !!!!! kills on scatter
Against 4+ save we have 15 kills compared to 25 kills on scatter
Against 5+ Save we have 15 kills compared to 33,2 kills on scatter
Against 6+ save we have 15 kills compared to 50 kills on scatter

As you can clearly see Scatterlaser works better for the points value on almost any type of enemy except 2+ save. This comparison is made with shooting targets in the open. Now to add some cover...

6+ cover

Against 2+ it's the same
Against 3+ it's 12,5 against 16,6
Against 4+ it's 12,5 against 25
Against 5+ it's 12,5 against 33,2
Against 6+ it's 12,5 against 41,7

5+ Cover

Against 2+ it's the same
Against 3+ it's 10 against 16,6
Against 4+ it's 10 against 25
Against 5+ it's 10 against 33,2
Against 6+ it's 10 against 33,2

4+ Cover

Against 2+ it's 7,5 against 8,3 (scatterlaser actually better)
Against 3+ it's 7,5 against 16,6
Against 4+ it's 7,5 against 25
Against 5+ it's 7,5 against 25
Against 6+ it's 7,5 against 25

So you can clearly see that for points value the scatter laser is a MUCH MUCH better option then the sucky starcannon. They decreased the price, but didn't decrease the cost high enough.